I grew up with five siblings, one bathroom, a septic tank, and zero awareness that we were “poor.”
We had one car, and my dad — a hardworking carpenter in Ohio — took it to work. That is, when there was work. Winters often meant layoffs or side gigs to make ends meet. But we didn’t mope. We made do. And we made memories.
We had one car, and my dad — a hardworking carpenter in Ohio — took it to work. That is, when there was work. Winters often meant layoffs or side gigs to make ends meet. But we didn’t mope. We made do. And we made memories.
We were a house full of kids — four brothers and one sister. We didn’t fight over money because there wasn’t any. We fought over space, Kool-Aid, and who got the good spot in front of the TV. But not money. That wasn’t part of our emotional vocabulary.
My mom was the soul of the house — and a magician in the kitchen. Long before microwaves or dishwashers, she cooked with joy. Homemade Chinese food: egg rolls, chow mein, fried rice — our house smelled like a Chinatown dream in the middle of Ohio. For birthdays, she sewed Barbie doll clothes and baked theme cakes that were always spot on. One year mine was shaped like a piano right after we got a piano and I started taking lessons. Didn’t matter — it was perfect.
When I was in high school, my dad and brothers added a tiny family room and a modest owner’s suite with a full bathroom onto the back of the house. That was big time. My Dad had a big garden that produced enough food to feed the neighborhood. We canned everything. When freezing became a thing, we filled two chest freezers with summer’s bounty, stocking up for winter like squirrels with Tupperware.
Of course, we had a septic tank. And if you’ve ever had one, you know. Let’s just say: to this day, I still flush before I poop, out of habit — a protective reflex forged in the trauma of too many overflows. Some things stay with you.
When I was 13, my youngest brother was born. He felt more like my baby than my sibling. My mom had very few things that were “just for her.” Her life was full of family — in every room, every minute. My dad would sometimes pay me to change diapers or get dinner started to give her a break. That arrangement taught me early that work had value — and so did helping.
Looking back, I’ve never felt bad about how we grew up. Not once. It taught me resourcefulness, gratitude, and how to stretch a meal and a dollar without stretching your dignity. It shaped how I see people, how I value community, and what I think of as “enough.”
Sure, I didn’t discover brunch at a restaurant or a professional manicure until I was 40. Camping was our family vacation and we were excited for the two hour trip because Mom packed sandwiches and we go to drink Kool Aid!
We were never truly lacking. We were just growing up broke and blissfully unaware. So many happy memories and always someone to play a game with.
I LOVE this Post, we grew up without realizing we were relatively Poor economically too. And I also am Thankful for what my Parent imparted and how resourceful they made it thru tough times and taught us to make do, adapt, improvise, and Create. I only had the one Younger Sibling tho', you had a whole playground of Siblings! *Smiles* We have a Septic Tank now on these Mini Farms coz the Community was built long before the City grew up around it. I'm fanatical about putting the Treatments in the Toilets so avoid... well... you know. *LOL*
ReplyDeleteThat is amazing! Kindred spirits we are. My sister is 8 years younger and we are still best friends. As my parents aged, they didn't notice the smell in the back yard, so I would arrange the pump service every year when I visited (just the two of them). It was a family run business and I think the third generation is now cleaning. The young man who got the job was one of 15 children!
DeleteWow, your mom sure must have worked hard and yet she found a way to be creative in raising her family. To me, it doesn't sound like you guys were poor, just typical of the middle class back when everyone had only one car and a septic tank and stay at home moms kept all the plates spinning in the air.
ReplyDeleteAt the bottom of middle class, I think. But you're right, it was the norm. It sure was a simpler time. Board games and modeling clay were the best! She limited TV and would say "go outside and get the stink blown off you". And they way they stretched food money! They would buy ground beef on sale, have us all make patties. She put wax paper in between and bagged them up with enough to make a meal. They mixed milk with have powdered milk to lower the cost. And Dad drove to the outlet store of a local bakery and get 20 loaves of bread for $1.50. Those were the days!
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