BITCH SESSION

There.  I said it.  There are SO many little things that irritate me.  Remember when our moms told us to use our inside voices and mind our manners in public? Yeah, apparently half the population never got that memo … or they shredded it and parked their cart diagonally across the cereal aisle …

10 Annoying behaviors that deserve their own tiny jail:

1) Standing in line to order something and the person in front of me is on the phone … holding up the “wait a minute” figure to the cashier.

My Solution: Get off the phone before you step up.  Or put your Very Important Conversation in your pocket while finishing your transaction.  Shush yourself!

2) People in quiet places (restaurant, for example) having phone conversations on speaker so we will all know what’s going on.

My Solution:  You can talk quietly but turn off the SPEAKER.  No one, I mean no one, wants to hear both sides of a stranger’s conversation.

3) People parking ON one of the white lines.  Essentially taking two parking spots.  The girlfriend of my neighbor cannot park equally between to parking lines to save her soul … even the handicap spot!  (The boyfriend has hassled us so many times over the past five years that we should park more to the left as his two door Corvette parks on our right and he has trouble getting in and out because he is 78 with huge doors and my little Subaru is taking more space than I need) (There are columns that I need to squeeze between and I can’t really get much closer)

My Solution:  Take the extra two minutes to back up and center yourself.

4) Distracted driving.  You know, on the highway or roadway going 10+ miles OVER the speed limit while talking on their phone and drinking coffee.

My solution:  Put down your phone.  If you can’t talk handsfree (enough of a distraction to your driving), then wait and talk when you are done driving.

5) Shoppers who park their cart mostly in the middle of the aisle and place their body to block the rest of the aisle.  And they remain oblivious to the rest of the world and don’t accommodate other shoppers.

My solution:  Park your cart in front of you while you are reading the can or box.  Half the aisle would be open for others.

6) Express lane cheaters with 27 items pretending they don’t see the “12 items or less” sign.

My solution:  Have a store employee who is not easily intimidated to remind said shopper they have too many items and a huge line behind them, most with only 3 items.

7) People who FaceTime their entire shopping trip and narrate it out loud.  Who show their roommate/spouse/child each item and then have a philosophical discussion for 90 seconds

My solution:  Get your ducks in a row BEFORE you leave the house.  Take photos of specific products and refer to them.

8) Line cutters who pretend they “didn’t see” the queue, even though it's clearly marked and 14 people long.  Especially at the Deli counter.

My solution:  Speak up!  Use your outside voice.  Wave your hand if necessary.  Don’t be a doormat.

9) People who stop at the top of escalators or just inside Costco doors, to check their phone while others pile up behind them.

My solution:  Get out of the way of incoming traffic quickly .. then check your shopping list or email.

10) People who "test" every flavor at the ice cream counter, then order vanilla.  Usually at a busy time with many people waiting interminably to place their order.

My solution:  Hire an outspoken employee who can say “Oh, just 3 samples” when we have a crowd waiting to order.

What is up with the public these days?  Does the world revolve around just them?  Manners anyone?  Is there a special school where they teach people to block every possible aisle at the grocery store?

Alright.  I’ll stop whining.  For this week.  I’m pretty sure I can quickly think up ten more.  PLEASE, add to my list?