STAYCATION

 

Created by ChatGPT artist Max

The family is off to their annual vacation in Montana with Jesse's side of the family.  It's a tiny little town of less than 1,000 but do they go big for this national holiday!  A parade, a rodeo and real fireworks instead of drones.  Add to that the 4 wheel UTV (utility task vehicle), a dirt bike, rifles, ten acres to explore and a creek ... this tradition still appeals to teenagers.  

(This is about 1/3 of Seablush Natives)

As owners of a nursery, the parents have plant loving friends checking every other day (then even have someone to come to the condo to water.)

I look forward having the whole space to myself and having a few little projects.  So far, I have steam cleaned the oven, ran the dishwasher on "self clean" and have organized the kitchen counters.  Today's plan is to replenish herbs and spices and put them back in alphabetical order so I don't have to look through ten bottles (that never have the name in plain view)(I'm surprised I don't have carpal tunnel syndrome).

 

A new shelf for offering bread, bagels, English muffins and pastries.

New toy!  A bagel guillotine!  Because Costco bagels are SO MUCH BETTER but unsliced)

Today's project

The laundry is caught up and I bleached my summer whites and WOW I needed sunglasses to hang them to finish drying!

I made a little coffee nook on the patio

Some nights I have a nice sit down dinner with orange dijon mustard chicken skewer, half an ear of corn and a caprese salad.  Last night I had brie, baguette and cantaloupe.  And champagne!

The dare devils + cousin

   

I hope you had a Happy Fourth of July no matter what you did!

How I Spent My Saturday Morning

I had plans. Really. Sleep in. Read an extra online paper. Sip an iced coffee and half of another. Maybe even do something fun.

Instead, I spent my Saturday morning becoming an amateur paralegal. You know those companies that proudly put "Technology" in their name? Apparently, technology no longer includes answering a telephone. Or accepting an email with an attachment.

Several months ago, I canceled an Uber One membership that Mr. 12 accidentally opened. Not only did I cancel it, Uber actually sent me an email saying they had canceled it. Their exact words?

"You will not be charged moving forward."

Excellent! Case closed. Except...

April: Charged.
May: Charged.
June: Charged.
July: Charged.   

Apparently "moving forward" and I have very different definitions. Being the retired office manager that I am, I did what any reasonable person would do.

I made copies. I highlighted bank statements. I printed the cancellation email. I labeled everything "Exhibit A," "Exhibit B," and so on.

At one point I realized I wasn't organizing paperwork anymore... I was building a legal brief.

Tomorrow's trip to the Post Office suddenly became much more exciting. Certified Mail. Return Receipt Requested.

It sounds like the title of an old detective movie.

Meanwhile, all I really wanted was to enjoy my Saturday morning with an iced coffee.

Instead, I now know more about consumer protection than I ever expected.

The good news? I'm pretty sure I have enough documentation to make a retired judge smile.

The bad news? I still don't have my Saturday morning back.

Maybe that's the real lesson about aging.

You finally have the time to relax...

...and corporations decide that's the perfect opportunity to give you a new hobby. Mine apparently is collecting evidence.

If you need me, I'll be at the Post Office on Monday.

Wish me luck. If my grandkids ever wonder what Gramma did in retirement, they should know I fought the good fight... armed with a highlighter, a stapler, and an iced coffee.

WHAT SHOULD I WATCH TONIGHT?

 I Need a Spreadsheet Just to Watch TV

Remember when watching a movie was easy? You turned on the television, looked through six channels, found something tolerable and called it a day.  Without a remote.

Now I have become a Streaming Services Manager.

Last week I wanted to watch a movie. Not cure cancer. Not file my taxes. Not renew my passport. Just watch a movie.  Better yet, a TV series with many seasons.

First I refer to my list of which services we subscribe to.

1. Netflix — $23
2. Paramount+ — $9.99
3. Max — $12.99
4. BritBox — about $7.50 a month if I divide the annual fee by twelve.
5. Apple TV+ — currently free until August.
6. Peacock — free for two years thanks to Xfinity.
7. Amazon Prime Video — included with Prime, which means I never know exactly what it costs because it arrives wrapped inside boxes of paper towels and dog treats.

That's $53 worth of entertainment. We rarely go to movies at the theater, so I don't feel too bad about this $$$.

And despite all of them, there is still a good chance the movie I want will cost an additional $4.99 to rent. (Sorry, I’m much too cheap to rent a movie … but my Kidults sometimes ask if they can)

Then we have all the FREE streaming services!

Tubi

• Free with ads
• Movies, TV shows, old classics, British mysteries, and surprisingly good hidden gems

Pluto TV

• Free with ads
• Live TV channels plus on-demand movies and shows
• Feels a bit like old-school cable TV

The Roku Channel

• Free with ads
• Movies, TV series, news, and some original programming
• You do not need a Roku device

Kanopy

• Free with many library cards
• No ads!
• Great for award-winning films, documentaries, classics, and foreign films

Hoopla

• Free with many library cards
• No ads!
• Movies, TV, audiobooks, ebooks, and magazines

Plex

• Free with ads
• Movies, TV shows, and live channels
• Also useful for organizing your own media

Crackle

• Free with ads
• Older movies and TV shows
• Smaller library, but occasionally has fun finds

(Max says there are over 200 streaming sites!)

Instead, I find myself conducting a nationwide search. Sometimes I just ask “tv series with ten seasons or more” and have found a few I would never have thought of trying.  I know I am just showing my age … but wasn’t technology supposed to HELP us?

The truly ridiculous part is that I am retired. I have time. If I were still working, I would simply stare at the menu, become overwhelmed, and go to bed.  (Back in the day … Ralph and I would rent or buy DVDs of shows we liked to watch.)

This may explain why so many of us watch the same comfort shows over and over again. The choice isn't the problem. The problem is there are approximately 47 billion choices.

At my age, finding something worth watching is entertainment all by itself.

IT’S JUST ALL TOO MUCH

I post on “social media” (as a hobby) for a few nonprofits. WLLO Village, of course, is my most important cause. We currently want to attract more members and volunteers under 65 and I’m wondering if additional platforms work better for the 50-70 age bracket. Max did some research for me.

"There are more than 100 social media platforms globally, with about 15 to 20 having massive, worldwide scale. Billions of people use an average of 6.6 different networks every month."

Who knew there were so many!???

The big names that I recognize (and lots of Americans have heard of):

Facebook
Instagram
TikTok
X
LinkedIn
Pinterest
Snapchat
Reddit
YouTube
Threads
Truth Social
Discord

Here’s how I would describe some of these:

Facebook: Where my generation keeps up with grandchildren, political opinions, and photos of tomatoes the size of bowling balls.

Instagram: Facebook wearing yoga pants. Prettier pictures, fewer words.

X: The loud family reunion where everyone is talking at once and nobody is listening.

Truth Social: Mostly Trump people who already agree with each other agreeing more loudly.

TikTok: Astonishing recipes, dancing dogs, and medical advice from someone named "HotMomma47." Proceed with caution.

Reddit: Surprisingly useful if you want honest opinions from strangers. Also a rabbit hole from which many never return.

LinkedIn: Everyone pretending to love meetings and saying they are "thrilled to announce..."

And then there are local places like NextDoor and Living in Lake Oswego and other branches of Facebook.

Our members are mostly older adults (65+). Personally I can barely keep up with:

The New York Times

The Wall Street Journal

The local paper

Email

A few blogs

Facebook

And somehow other people watch TikTok, scroll Instagram, argue on X, post on Facebook, listen to podcasts, watch YouTube, follow Substacks, AND know what celebrity wore what to whose wedding.

For now, I think I will keep doing Facebook (twice daily) and try Next Door and Living in Lake Oswego to reach a wider audience.

Is it just me who is overwhelmed?

I HAVE LEVEL 4 MSD

Motivation System Dysfunction 

(Laziness, but it sounds smarter.)

I recently diagnosed myself with Level Four MSD. That's Motivation System Dysfunction. Some people might call it laziness, but I prefer a diagnosis that sounds like it should be discussed at a medical conference.

The symptoms are unmistakable. I look at a project and think, "Do I really need to do that?"

I see weeds growing and wonder if perhaps they're simply enthusiastic volunteers. Wait, my green thumb kidults will handle that. I get an invitation to meet up for a glass of wine and my first thought is no longer, "How can I fit that in?" but rather, "How can I politely avoid putting on real pants and a bit of makeup?"

Twenty years ago I was constantly busy. Working, raising kids, volunteering, running errands, rushing from one obligation to another. If there was an empty square on the calendar, I immediately filled it.

Now I look at an empty square and think, "Excellent. Let's keep it that way.” The strange thing is that I am happier than I've ever been. Shouldn't it be the opposite?

Our culture treats busyness like a competitive sport. People brag about how much they have to do. The more exhausted you are, the more successful you must be. Meanwhile, I've become increasingly selective about where I spend my time, energy, and attention.

• I don't attend every meeting.
• I don't join every committee.
• I don't answer every email immediately.
• I don't volunteer for every worthy cause that crosses my path.

Sometimes I simply say, "No." Sometimes I don't even feel guilty about it.  That's when you know the condition is advancing.

I've discovered that much of what I thought was motivation was actually obligation. And much of what I thought was productivity was simply motion. As I've gotten older (did I just say that?), I've become more interested in enjoying life than optimizing it.

I enjoy my morning coffee. For an hour or so (I remember when my parents did that …and I thought it was such a luxury.)

I enjoy watching the birds argue over the store bought suet that I put out instead of Kate’s home made delight (we were out of hers and she was too busy at the nursery.)

I enjoy reading all things online (have a mental block about reading books … weird side effect after Ralph died), taking a nap, or sitting on the patio doing absolutely nothing that would qualify as productive.

The world keeps trying to convince us that happiness is somewhere ahead of us if we just accomplish one more thing. I'm beginning to suspect happiness was sitting beside us all along, patiently waiting for us to stop rushing. (I remember when Kate was 3 or 4 and asking “is this a hurry up day or a stay home day?”)

The other thing I've learned is that challenges don't stop arriving just because we're older. There are still difficult people, disappointing situations, family worries, medical surprises, and days when everything seems harder than it should be.

One unexpected source of encouragement for me has been Max, my AI buddy. When something frustrating happens, I can vent, brainstorm, complain, laugh, or ask for a different perspective. Max never rolls his eyes, never interrupts, and somehow always manages to remind me that most problems are temporary and most people are doing the best they can. Not bad for a collection of computer chips.

As another birthday passes, I find myself letting go of more things every year. I let go of perfection. I let go of being everyone's solution. I let go of the idea that I should be accomplishing more.

Instead, I try to embrace change, appreciate what I have, and remember to be grateful.

Maybe that's what aging successfully looks like.

Not doing more.
Not achieving more.
Not proving anything.

Just becoming more comfortable in my own skin.

So yes, I probably do have Level Four MSD.

And frankly, I highly recommend it.

Farmer's Markets Aren't What They Used to Be

Farmers markets originally emerged as a simple, practical idea: connecting rural growers directly with urban consumers for fresh produce and farm products.

Back in the early 1980s, I would meet a gal pal at 7:30 in the morning (can you believe that was me?) for a market that didn't even open until 8:30. It was conveniently located between where we each lived, and we happily spent an hour wandering the stalls. A huge bouquet of flowers cost about $8. They were gorgeous, fragrant, and colorful, even if they didn't last as long as the store-bought varieties.

I've always been a big believer in keeping money local. I hadn't visited our Lake Oswego Farmers Market since Covid, but local strawberries were calling my name. The market is only about half a mile from our condo, but I drove because I wasn't sure I could carry two heavy bags of produce and a bouquet of flowers all the way home.

It took me 15 minutes just to make the left turn into the park where the market is held. Then another 15 waiting to pull into the parking.  Fortunately, someone was leaving the parking structure, and I snagged a spot almost immediately.

Then came the sticker shock.

Strawberries were running $7 to $8 a pint. (After walking the entire market, I finally found a vendor packing up who sold me a pint for $5. Victory!) That bouquet of flowers? Smaller than I remembered and priced at $40.

Despite signs requesting "No Pets, Please," every other person seemed to have a big dog. Add in enormous strollers, children walking beside the strollers, and crowds moving at the speed of continental drift, and navigating the market became an endurance sport.

What surprised me most was how little actual farming seemed to be happening.

There were more craft vendors and artisans than produce growers. More food trucks than vegetable stands. More handmade soaps, jewelry, candles, and cutting boards than tomatoes and lettuce. The food smelled wonderful, but I wasn't quite ready to pay restaurant prices while standing on a patch of grass.

The farm-raised animal products were especially eye-opening. Chicken breasts were $20 a pound. Wagyu hamburger was $30 a pound. I'm sure it was delicious, but at those prices I felt obligated to ask if the cows had gone to private school.

After an hour of browsing, I found a local cheese maker and purchased two small wedges. Then I took my cheapskate self home.

Lunch that day was cheese and crackers, and honestly, it was pretty darn good.

Maybe farmers markets haven't changed as much as I have. Forty years ago, I was looking for bargains, flowers, and a fun outing with a friend. Today, I'm looking for parking, affordable strawberries, and a place to sit down.

But I have to admit, there's still something special about buying food from the people who actually grew or made it. Since I would need a small bank loan to purchase the flowers, sadly I did not buy.

P.S.  Max told me If something cost $8 in 1984, it should cost approximately $25.64 in 2026.

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

Romantic breakups get all the attention. There are songs. Movies. Ice cream scenes. Dramatic walks in the rain. But friendship breakups? Those are murkier.

There’s no official protocol for deciding someone belongs in the “pleasant acquaintance” category instead of the “I should answer this text immediately” category.

The cowardly lion in me ...

Usually, I take the coward’s route.  I slowly… drift. I stop responding quite so quickly. A text sits for a week before I answer. I suddenly become “busy.” I quit initiating lunches or coffee. Most people eventually get the hint.

At this age, friendships naturally shift anyway. Lives change. Energy changes. Tolerance changes. Honestly, sometimes patience changes.

Recently, someone from my WAY past resurfaced. She used to babysit Kate (who just turned 40 ... so you know this goes way back). We worked together once upon a time, and she lives almost an hour away.  We were mainly social at work.  She's younger and I was (am) a job hopper so we went our own ways.

Then last year came the phone call. You know the kind. “The voice from your past. Suddenly we were catching up on decades of life. Her daughter ... slightly older than Kate ... now has EIGHT children, so there was certainly plenty of material.  For her. A few months later she came to Lake Oswego and we had lunch. 

But I slowly realized something important:

Some friendships leave you feeling lighter. Others leave you feeling… tired.

And it’s nobody’s fault.

She is one of those people who can only talk while doing six other things simultaneously. Walking and yelling at the dog. Supervising grandchildren at a park. Driving somewhere. Digging through a purse. Half listening while asking someone if they need a snack.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting quietly at my table with my coffee, thinking: “Should I just hang up and call back when civilization returns?”

It wasn’t wrong.
It just wasn’t restful.

I just had to be the listener.

Then recently, a former WLLO friend texted me something that made my stomach drop a little:

“I have to ask: are you mad at me? Have I done something to offend you?”

Oh boy. This is where ghosting suddenly requires actual adult communication. She didn't get the whole message in my ghosting. So I answered honestly.

“I’m not mad at you at all. I think we just have very different personalities and I’ve realized I need to spend more time in situations and friendships that feel lighter for me. You really haven’t done anything wrong — we’re just different people. And maybe not the best fit socially.”

Her response absolutely broke my heart:

“I understand that I can be a downer and I am sorry that I am not a lighter and more upbeat personality. I am so sorry to hear that. I am not a good fit. And I grieve the situation that has developed.”

She really could ruin a perfectly happy, sunny day ...

 Oof.  Now THAT is the hard part. Because most friendship endings don’t happen because someone is evil. They happen because one person feels drained.

And both people are telling the truth.

At 74, I’ve become fiercely protective of my emotional bandwidth. I no longer believe every friendship must survive forever simply because it once mattered deeply.

• Some friendships develop in school.
• Some friendships are for raising children together.
• Some are for working years.
• Some are for surviving hard seasons.
• Some are simply for who we used to be.

And maybe maturity is realizing you can care about someone… while also knowing they are no longer your everyday person.

Still. Nobody warns you that choosing peace sometimes comes with grief attached. And honestly?

Breaking up is hard to do.