May is a beautiful mix of memories, milestones… and a surprising number of things I’m apparently expected to attend.
The weather improves, native plants bloom, and suddenly everyone is outdoors pretending they’ve always loved fresh air. There are May Day rallies, community events, and—today—the Lake Oswego Lake Run, where people voluntarily run distances I wouldn’t drive without snacks.
my coping strategy
It all begins with my birthday on May 1—shared with two delightful “birthday twins.” I also hear from my insurance company, dentist, and financial planner, which feels less like celebration and more like a gentle reminder to stay alive and solvent.
May 2 is what I call my Heavenly Memory Day. It marks the anniversary of my husband’s passing after a long fight with prostate cancer. And in a move that was both thoughtful and just a little inconvenient timing-wise, he waited until the day after my birthday so as not to overshadow the festivities.
Heavenly Memory Day
In his final three days, we had Mr. Ralph at home in a hospital bed, facing the fabulous back oasis he created. Four dear friends (we were in Maui ... because he didn't want to die in the rain) gathered with us. We tied balloons to his bed rail, shared a Scotch toast, and the next morning, we released those balloons into the sky. It was simple, meaningful… and exactly the kind of send-off he would have appreciated.
And because May believes in balance, it continues with:
- the Kentucky Derby (big hats, tiny horses, questionable betting decisions),
- Cinco de Mayo (my annual excuse to eat my weight in chips and guacamole),
- multiple family birthdays (clearly August was a busy month decades ago), including my daughter on May 22,
- Mother’s Day (where expectations vary wildly),
- and Memorial Day, when we pause to remember what really matters… and also argue about whether it’s too early to put out the patio furniture.
May holds everything—joy, grief, laughter, remembrance… and a calendar that suddenly requires a spreadsheet.
It’s a lot.
But somehow… it’s also just right.
Well ... except for the allergies ...
Be kind. I'm suffering!
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