BE KIND. It’s Not THAT Hard ...

There’s a little sign making the rounds lately that simply says: “Be kind. It’s not that hard.”

And every time I see it, I think:
Well… theoretically.  Because if kindness were truly not that hard, we wouldn’t need the reminder printed on mugs, stitched on pillows, or—if I had my way—tattooed on a few foreheads.

I had one of those days.

You know the kind.  Where most everyone is being perfectly pleasant… and yet somehow, by the end of it, you feel like you’ve been gently steamrolled by a parade of good intentions.

No one is yelling.
No one is being mean.
But also? No one is really listening.

Kindness isn’t just about tone. It’s not the cheerful “Hi there!” or the exclamation point at the end of a sentence. It’s not the appearance of being nice.

Kindness is awareness.

It’s noticing that someone has already rearranged their schedule—and maybe not rearranging it again.
It’s understanding that “I’m not able to attend” is not an invitation to negotiate.  It’s recognizing that not everyone thrives in the same environments, at the same volume, at the same pace.

Kindness, it turns out, requires a tiny bit of effort. Not a lot. Just… a pause. And here’s the tricky part.

Most people think they’re being kind.

They’re organizing.
They’re including.
They’re following “procedures.”
They’re making sure everything is just so.

All very admirable. But kindness isn’t about how something looks from your side of the table.  It’s about how it lands on the other side.

I’ve spent a good portion of my life softening things.

Adding extra words.
Smoothing edges.
Explaining—oh, the explaining—so no one might possibly misunderstand.

But lately, I’m learning something new. Kindness also includes being kind to yourself. And sometimes that looks like this:

“No, I’m not able to do that.”

Full stop. No essay. No apology tour. No supporting documentation. Just… no.

The funny thing is, when you start doing that, the world does not end. People adjust. Or they don’t.
But either way, you’re no longer exhausted from trying to make everyone else comfortable at your own expense.

And that, my friends, feels like a small miracle.

So yes. Be kind. Truly kind.

Not just in tone, but in action. In awareness. In restraint. Listen a little more. Push a little less. Assume that if someone says “no,” they’ve already thought it through.

Because kindness isn’t complicated.

It’s just… apparently… harder than it looks.“Be kind. It’s simple. Just not always easy.”

P.S.  There are some days I have to make a post-it that says BE KIND and stick it on my laptop.