GOOD GRIEF

Where did that saying come from?  It should be BAD grief.

Maybe I am just at the age where dying is happening all around me.  Which reminds me of my greatest loss 12 years ago (death of hubs).  Along with Facebook reminding me of him when they do those flashback photos and posts.

I live in a condo community of 112 units.  We are now considered to officially be a NORC … a Naturally Occurring Retirement Community.  Mostly 65+ and aging at home as long as possible.  We see ambulances about every other week.  As well as fire trucks.  (Usually to help someone get up).

Wednesday night we heard a loud thump after midnight, like our upstairs neighbor had fallen.  The next morning an ambulance arrived and took him with them.  He spent the night somewhere (?) and I saw him Friday morning limping to his car with his hand on the small of his back.  Yes, he drove off in that condition.

My high school buddy (and maid of honor) lost a sister-in-law then a brother-in-law six days later.  All out of state.  We were all raised Catholic; my buddy is still a practicing Catholic.   The SIL was not religious, more of a hippie agnostic, until she became terminal.  She found some out of the norm Catholic Church which buddy seemed to think was some sort of cult.  

Her description of the funeral was chilling.  Everything in Latin and the Mass was over 90 minutes.  All the priests had long Amish style beards and in the eulogy no one mentioned the SILs name.  At all.  Or why they were even gathered there.  She is now one of six people buried there.  Attendees were not allowed to receive communion, just her husband and the priests.  A very odd event for sure.

(from the church's website)

I have not been to a funeral in 30 years!  It was for our elderly friend we “adopted” who became a local Grandma for my daughter.  We had such a good long in-depth friendship for many years.  She loved to cook and entertain.  They lived in a condo complex with a pool and invited us over frequently.  When she passed away, her husband was in the hospital for a quadruple bypass.  When he returned home, he asked if I would be his friend.  We met at least once a week for the next 12 years.

For the sad finale, my WLLO coworker lost her youngest son (55) two weeks ago from suicide.  He has had several mental illnesses since he was age 14 … bipolar, schizophrenic and borderline personality disorder. He lived about two hours from here and she would visit about every 6 weeks or so.  Fortunately, he would call or text daily which eased her mind.  One day he did NOT contact her and would not answer his phone.  She drove down and discovered him in a such a state she had him taken by ambulance for a psychiatric hold.  She cobbled together some in-person help twice a week to bring groceries and remind him to take his medication.

Which didn’t last very long and he let them go.  His Mom, Sister and visiting cousin went to visit and he had lost 50 lbs, hadn’t let his four dogs out for days and the cycle started all over again.  A week after he checked out of the hospital he called his Mom to say goodbye.  She asked her daughter to drive down and check on him as she was entertaining visiting relatives again.  She found him dead.

And that’s enough sad news.