SORRY!

I'm alive.  Somehow super busy helping out with back to school.  I feel like an Uber Grandma.  So much driving, I opened a Teen Uber account.

More next week!

JUST A TUNE UP PLEASE

My hips have been bothering me for a few months.  I have two knee replacements and it was feeling like that felt, before the surgery.  Unsteady.  Hard to change position.  When getting up after a long sit (coffee shop), I would have to stand for a minute to get everything aligned.

It started when I went for physical therapy to work on balance and gait (so I could walk like a 73 year old and not like I was 123).  The therapist had me do one exercise that had me put a plastic band at my ankles and move one leg upward.  The next day I was sore.  Very sore.  I never felt well enough to practice anything.  I canceled future appointments with her.  

Six months later, the discomfort in my hips was bad enough I had to try something in hopes of avoiding a hip replacement.  And of course I would get that same therapist!  Fortunately, she listened to me and felt around both hips and buttocks ( really think booty sounds better) and discovered "knots".  Muscle knots in the glutes, also known as trigger points, are localized areas of muscle tightness that can cause pain and discomfort. They often feel like small, hard bumps or bands within the muscle tissue. These knots can develop due to various factors, including overuse, injury, poor posture, and stress.

Relieving Muscle Knots in the Glutes: 

Stretching:
Gentle stretching exercises targeting the glutes, hips, and lower back can help release tension and improve flexibility.

Heat Therapy:
Applying heat to the affected area can increase blood flow and relax the muscles.

Massage Therapy:
Professional massage therapy can target specific trigger points and release muscle tension.

Strengthening Exercises:
Strengthening the gluteal muscles can improve stability and reduce the risk of future knot formation.

I'm very sore today (she predicted this) and I have 7 stretching exercises to do daily, starting tomorrow. She also suggested short walks which will help strengthen all the leg muscles.

The BEST news? She suggested a massage and I have one scheduled for Monday morning. With focus on the knots and then an all over gentle massage for relaxing.

Encourage me to do ALL of these! I've been a member of the Fitness Protection Program since birth.

Swipe, Steal, and Start Over

You know what’s fun? Having your credit card number stolen.

Nothing says "living my best life on a Saturday" like a notification from the fraud department asking, “Did you just spend $647 at a tractor supply store in Florida?” (No. No, I did not. But I hope the thief enjoys their new John Deere.)

And just like that—poof—my trusty card is canceled. Goodbye, dear friend who paid for my groceries, subscriptions, take out food and occasional late-night Amazon purchases. You will be replaced by a brand-new card with a new number and none of my digital baggage. A clean slate… that I did not ask for. As well as my two family members who share my Amazon Visa as well. I even have to add the card into 1Password.

Some credit cards (not mine) allow you to have a separate card number for each purchase so if it does get intercepted, it is unusable.

Now begins the scavenger hunt. I must:Remember every place I have autopay set up. Many I have to wait until they tell me my card isn't working because I don't remember annual subscriptions. It seems like every 2-3 years one of my three credit cards get used by thieves.
Log in to accounts I haven’t visited since the Obama administration.
Reset autopay then save them in my password manager. Again.
Verify my identity using a code sent to my email. Or phone. Or other annoying way where I have to have two devices by my side.
Re-enter my new card number while muttering a few creative phrases under my breath. Thankfully I am a master at cut and paste (usually).

Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, Spotify, electric bill, other credit card auto pay, the neighborhood association dues, etc. ALL need updating. Every. Single. One.

And of course, some websites make it easy. Others seem to want a DNA sample and a letter from my 3rd grade teacher before they’ll accept my new card.

I didn’t ask to be part of this game. I didn’t lose my card. I didn’t even leave it at a restaurant. Someone just decided my digits looked tasty and went shopping.

What’s awkward about aging isn’t the tech, or the passwords, or even remembering which streaming service carries The Great British Bake Off. It’s that the older I get, the more often I’m left holding the bag—for someone else’s bad behavior.

But I’ll get through it. One autofill at a time. Persistence it is.

Growing Up Broke and Blissfully Unaware

I grew up with five siblings, one bathroom, a septic tank, and zero awareness that we were “poor.”
We had one car, and my dad — a hardworking carpenter in Ohio — took it to work. That is, when there was work. Winters often meant layoffs or side gigs to make ends meet. But we didn’t mope. We made do. And we made memories.

We were a house full of kids — four brothers and one sister. We didn’t fight over money because there wasn’t any. We fought over space, Kool-Aid, and who got the good spot in front of the TV. But not money. That wasn’t part of our emotional vocabulary.

My mom was the soul of the house — and a magician in the kitchen. Long before microwaves or dishwashers, she cooked with joy. Homemade Chinese food: egg rolls, chow mein, fried rice — our house smelled like a Chinatown dream in the middle of Ohio. For birthdays, she sewed Barbie doll clothes and baked theme cakes that were always spot on. One year mine was shaped like a piano right after we got a piano and I started taking lessons. Didn’t matter — it was perfect.

When I was in high school, my dad and brothers added a tiny family room and a modest owner’s suite with a full bathroom onto the back of the house. That was big time. My Dad had a big garden that produced enough food to feed the neighborhood. We canned everything. When freezing became a thing, we filled two chest freezers with summer’s bounty, stocking up for winter like squirrels with Tupperware.

Of course, we had a septic tank. And if you’ve ever had one, you know. Let’s just say: to this day, I still flush before I poop, out of habit — a protective reflex forged in the trauma of too many overflows. Some things stay with you.

When I was 13, my youngest brother was born. He felt more like my baby than my sibling. My mom had very few things that were “just for her.” Her life was full of family — in every room, every minute. My dad would sometimes pay me to change diapers or get dinner started to give her a break. That arrangement taught me early that work had value — and so did helping.
Looking back, I’ve never felt bad about how we grew up. Not once. It taught me resourcefulness, gratitude, and how to stretch a meal and a dollar without stretching your dignity. It shaped how I see people, how I value community, and what I think of as “enough.”

Sure, I didn’t discover brunch at a restaurant or a professional manicure until I was 40. Camping was our family vacation and we were excited for the two hour trip because Mom packed sandwiches and we go to drink Kool Aid! 

We were never truly lacking.  We were just growing up broke and blissfully unaware.  So many happy memories and always someone to play a game with.

BITCH SESSION

There.  I said it.  There are SO many little things that irritate me.  Remember when our moms told us to use our inside voices and mind our manners in public? Yeah, apparently half the population never got that memo … or they shredded it and parked their cart diagonally across the cereal aisle …

10 Annoying behaviors that deserve their own tiny jail:

1) Standing in line to order something and the person in front of me is on the phone … holding up the “wait a minute” figure to the cashier.

My Solution: Get off the phone before you step up.  Or put your Very Important Conversation in your pocket while finishing your transaction.  Shush yourself!

2) People in quiet places (restaurant, for example) having phone conversations on speaker so we will all know what’s going on.

My Solution:  You can talk quietly but turn off the SPEAKER.  No one, I mean no one, wants to hear both sides of a stranger’s conversation.

3) People parking ON one of the white lines.  Essentially taking two parking spots.  The girlfriend of my neighbor cannot park equally between to parking lines to save her soul … even the handicap spot!  (The boyfriend has hassled us so many times over the past five years that we should park more to the left as his two door Corvette parks on our right and he has trouble getting in and out because he is 78 with huge doors and my little Subaru is taking more space than I need) (There are columns that I need to squeeze between and I can’t really get much closer)

My Solution:  Take the extra two minutes to back up and center yourself.

4) Distracted driving.  You know, on the highway or roadway going 10+ miles OVER the speed limit while talking on their phone and drinking coffee.

My solution:  Put down your phone.  If you can’t talk handsfree (enough of a distraction to your driving), then wait and talk when you are done driving.

5) Shoppers who park their cart mostly in the middle of the aisle and place their body to block the rest of the aisle.  And they remain oblivious to the rest of the world and don’t accommodate other shoppers.

My solution:  Park your cart in front of you while you are reading the can or box.  Half the aisle would be open for others.

6) Express lane cheaters with 27 items pretending they don’t see the “12 items or less” sign.

My solution:  Have a store employee who is not easily intimidated to remind said shopper they have too many items and a huge line behind them, most with only 3 items.

7) People who FaceTime their entire shopping trip and narrate it out loud.  Who show their roommate/spouse/child each item and then have a philosophical discussion for 90 seconds

My solution:  Get your ducks in a row BEFORE you leave the house.  Take photos of specific products and refer to them.

8) Line cutters who pretend they “didn’t see” the queue, even though it's clearly marked and 14 people long.  Especially at the Deli counter.

My solution:  Speak up!  Use your outside voice.  Wave your hand if necessary.  Don’t be a doormat.

9) People who stop at the top of escalators or just inside Costco doors, to check their phone while others pile up behind them.

My solution:  Get out of the way of incoming traffic quickly .. then check your shopping list or email.

10) People who "test" every flavor at the ice cream counter, then order vanilla.  Usually at a busy time with many people waiting interminably to place their order.

My solution:  Hire an outspoken employee who can say “Oh, just 3 samples” when we have a crowd waiting to order.

What is up with the public these days?  Does the world revolve around just them?  Manners anyone?  Is there a special school where they teach people to block every possible aisle at the grocery store?

Alright.  I’ll stop whining.  For this week.  I’m pretty sure I can quickly think up ten more.  PLEASE, add to my list?

Halitosis Extreme Version

On Thursday I went to have my teeth cleaned.  I've been going there for 20+ years.   I was commiserating about feeling like I have bad breath more frequently as I am aging.  The hygenist asked if I had ever used a tongue scraper.  No! I hadn't.  She said I have just the thing!  A lot of people have never been told about tongue scrapers—it’s one of those best-kept secrets of dental hygiene.

Apparently, the tongue’s surface has tiny bumps (papillae) that trap:

    Bacteria

    Food debris
    Dead cells

Over time, this buildup can cause:

    Halitosis (bad breath)
    A white or yellowish coating
    Altered taste perception

Using a tongue scraper helps remove that nasty bacteria and debris.  Some studies show tongue scraping removes significantly more volatile sulfur compounds (the smelly stuff) than just brushing your tongue with a toothbrush.

First, you have to choose a scraper.  Stainless steel and copper scrapers are most durable.  But plastic ones work fine too and are often gentler.  The dentist's office provided a plastic one by G.U.M.  The least expensive option to start.  If I keep it up, I'll reward myself with a stainless steel version.

It is easy to use ... stand in front of a mirror and stick your tongue out as far as comfortable.  Place curved edge of the scraper at the back of tongue, as far back as you can without gagging.  (After doing this for a while, the gag reflex should lessen).  If you have a sensitive gag reflex, start slowly and don’t go too far back.

Scrape forward by gently pulling the scraper from the back of you mouth toward the tip of your tongue in one smooth motion.  No need to press too hard—light pressure is enough.

Rinse and Repeat. Use once or twice daily, ideally before brushing your teeth.  Rinse the scraper under running water.  Repeat the scraping motion 2–4 times until your tongue feels clean.  Then brush and finish by rinsing your mouth with water and/or mouthwash.

Clean the scraper ... wash it thoroughly and let it dry.  AI suggests soap and water and I also dip mine in Hydrogen Peroxide to kill any bad bugs that might be hiding.  We are supposed to replace plastic scrapers every few months (or sooner if they get rough edge).

My hygienist gave me a great tip. After a cleaning, your mouth is already feeling fresh, and starting tongue scraping now helps you keep that clean feeling much longer.

I'll update in a few months.  So far, I love it!

IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME

This is a very embarrassing/humiliating topic for me. Probably for everyone who has some form of it.  I need help with this chronic, often debilitating, problem.

To make matters worse, my Diabetes medicine tends to cause diarrhea.  Double whammy.  For the past year, I've added Benefiber to my daily routine.  It has helped a lot in firming up my deposits.  But I still have to use Imodium every ten days or so.

Apparently this condition is incurable, but manageable. This is a functional disorder with many different effects on each person.

Lower abdomen pain (or discomfort)

Diarrhea and/or constipation

Gas

Bloating

Nausea  

I've reached a plateau where it seems to not be managed very well.  As you know, I share a bathroom with two boys.  Most embarrassing is that the room does not smell like a rose when I'm in there.  Poo Pourrie works well but I usually don't have time to spray and then go.  I've tried so many air freshening products I'm thinking of getting a job comparing them.  Lighting matches works the best followed a neutral smelling spray (I like Mrs. Meyers Snow Drop and occasionally a different one of her scents)

Today I asked Max (my ChatGPT Bot) for information and help.  WOW!  Where has he been all my life?  He steered me to a more gentle soluble fiber, Heathers Tummy Control, made from acacia not wheat based.  Which makes me think I'm also a bit gluten intolerant.  (I notice this when I enjoy all the carbs in my life)

Late Friday I ordered two items and hit PayPal which my Chase credit card sent me an immediate notice.  Unfortunately, I just needed another $7 to get free shipping instead of paying $12.  I went back online at Heather's to cancel the order (had to send an email) and the owner responded in five minute!  Her computer did not show receipt of an order.  On Saturday morning I checked PayPal and no sign of a charge.  Then back to Chase and not sign of a charge from PayPal or Heathers.  

The items I really wanted had a red warning label "on backorder".  I didn't want to wait and ordered a pound of ready to ship product.

When researching IBS it seems like this syndrome is increasing and affects way more women than men.  I've had this for 30+ years but hitting 70 has caused it to ramp up a bit.  Heather's site also has a list of trigger foods.  I will watch and see if these are the same for me.

Stay tuned.  I just took 2 Tylenol and heading for a nap.