Growing Up Broke and Blissfully Unaware

I grew up with five siblings, one bathroom, a septic tank, and zero awareness that we were “poor.”
We had one car, and my dad — a hardworking carpenter in Ohio — took it to work. That is, when there was work. Winters often meant layoffs or side gigs to make ends meet. But we didn’t mope. We made do. And we made memories.

We were a house full of kids — four brothers and one sister. We didn’t fight over money because there wasn’t any. We fought over space, Kool-Aid, and who got the good spot in front of the TV. But not money. That wasn’t part of our emotional vocabulary.

My mom was the soul of the house — and a magician in the kitchen. Long before microwaves or dishwashers, she cooked with joy. Homemade Chinese food: egg rolls, chow mein, fried rice — our house smelled like a Chinatown dream in the middle of Ohio. For birthdays, she sewed Barbie doll clothes and baked theme cakes that were always spot on. One year mine was shaped like a piano right after we got a piano and I started taking lessons. Didn’t matter — it was perfect.

When I was in high school, my dad and brothers added a tiny family room and a modest owner’s suite with a full bathroom onto the back of the house. That was big time. My Dad had a big garden that produced enough food to feed the neighborhood. We canned everything. When freezing became a thing, we filled two chest freezers with summer’s bounty, stocking up for winter like squirrels with Tupperware.

Of course, we had a septic tank. And if you’ve ever had one, you know. Let’s just say: to this day, I still flush before I poop, out of habit — a protective reflex forged in the trauma of too many overflows. Some things stay with you.

When I was 13, my youngest brother was born. He felt more like my baby than my sibling. My mom had very few things that were “just for her.” Her life was full of family — in every room, every minute. My dad would sometimes pay me to change diapers or get dinner started to give her a break. That arrangement taught me early that work had value — and so did helping.
Looking back, I’ve never felt bad about how we grew up. Not once. It taught me resourcefulness, gratitude, and how to stretch a meal and a dollar without stretching your dignity. It shaped how I see people, how I value community, and what I think of as “enough.”

Sure, I didn’t discover brunch at a restaurant or a professional manicure until I was 40. Camping was our family vacation and we were excited for the two hour trip because Mom packed sandwiches and we go to drink Kool Aid! 

We were never truly lacking.  We were just growing up broke and blissfully unaware.  So many happy memories and always someone to play a game with.

BITCH SESSION

There.  I said it.  There are SO many little things that irritate me.  Remember when our moms told us to use our inside voices and mind our manners in public? Yeah, apparently half the population never got that memo … or they shredded it and parked their cart diagonally across the cereal aisle …

10 Annoying behaviors that deserve their own tiny jail:

1) Standing in line to order something and the person in front of me is on the phone … holding up the “wait a minute” figure to the cashier.

My Solution: Get off the phone before you step up.  Or put your Very Important Conversation in your pocket while finishing your transaction.  Shush yourself!

2) People in quiet places (restaurant, for example) having phone conversations on speaker so we will all know what’s going on.

My Solution:  You can talk quietly but turn off the SPEAKER.  No one, I mean no one, wants to hear both sides of a stranger’s conversation.

3) People parking ON one of the white lines.  Essentially taking two parking spots.  The girlfriend of my neighbor cannot park equally between to parking lines to save her soul … even the handicap spot!  (The boyfriend has hassled us so many times over the past five years that we should park more to the left as his two door Corvette parks on our right and he has trouble getting in and out because he is 78 with huge doors and my little Subaru is taking more space than I need) (There are columns that I need to squeeze between and I can’t really get much closer)

My Solution:  Take the extra two minutes to back up and center yourself.

4) Distracted driving.  You know, on the highway or roadway going 10+ miles OVER the speed limit while talking on their phone and drinking coffee.

My solution:  Put down your phone.  If you can’t talk handsfree (enough of a distraction to your driving), then wait and talk when you are done driving.

5) Shoppers who park their cart mostly in the middle of the aisle and place their body to block the rest of the aisle.  And they remain oblivious to the rest of the world and don’t accommodate other shoppers.

My solution:  Park your cart in front of you while you are reading the can or box.  Half the aisle would be open for others.

6) Express lane cheaters with 27 items pretending they don’t see the “12 items or less” sign.

My solution:  Have a store employee who is not easily intimidated to remind said shopper they have too many items and a huge line behind them, most with only 3 items.

7) People who FaceTime their entire shopping trip and narrate it out loud.  Who show their roommate/spouse/child each item and then have a philosophical discussion for 90 seconds

My solution:  Get your ducks in a row BEFORE you leave the house.  Take photos of specific products and refer to them.

8) Line cutters who pretend they “didn’t see” the queue, even though it's clearly marked and 14 people long.  Especially at the Deli counter.

My solution:  Speak up!  Use your outside voice.  Wave your hand if necessary.  Don’t be a doormat.

9) People who stop at the top of escalators or just inside Costco doors, to check their phone while others pile up behind them.

My solution:  Get out of the way of incoming traffic quickly .. then check your shopping list or email.

10) People who "test" every flavor at the ice cream counter, then order vanilla.  Usually at a busy time with many people waiting interminably to place their order.

My solution:  Hire an outspoken employee who can say “Oh, just 3 samples” when we have a crowd waiting to order.

What is up with the public these days?  Does the world revolve around just them?  Manners anyone?  Is there a special school where they teach people to block every possible aisle at the grocery store?

Alright.  I’ll stop whining.  For this week.  I’m pretty sure I can quickly think up ten more.  PLEASE, add to my list?

Halitosis Extreme Version

On Thursday I went to have my teeth cleaned.  I've been going there for 20+ years.   I was commiserating about feeling like I have bad breath more frequently as I am aging.  The hygenist asked if I had ever used a tongue scraper.  No! I hadn't.  She said I have just the thing!  A lot of people have never been told about tongue scrapers—it’s one of those best-kept secrets of dental hygiene.

Apparently, the tongue’s surface has tiny bumps (papillae) that trap:

    Bacteria

    Food debris
    Dead cells

Over time, this buildup can cause:

    Halitosis (bad breath)
    A white or yellowish coating
    Altered taste perception

Using a tongue scraper helps remove that nasty bacteria and debris.  Some studies show tongue scraping removes significantly more volatile sulfur compounds (the smelly stuff) than just brushing your tongue with a toothbrush.

First, you have to choose a scraper.  Stainless steel and copper scrapers are most durable.  But plastic ones work fine too and are often gentler.  The dentist's office provided a plastic one by G.U.M.  The least expensive option to start.  If I keep it up, I'll reward myself with a stainless steel version.

It is easy to use ... stand in front of a mirror and stick your tongue out as far as comfortable.  Place curved edge of the scraper at the back of tongue, as far back as you can without gagging.  (After doing this for a while, the gag reflex should lessen).  If you have a sensitive gag reflex, start slowly and don’t go too far back.

Scrape forward by gently pulling the scraper from the back of you mouth toward the tip of your tongue in one smooth motion.  No need to press too hard—light pressure is enough.

Rinse and Repeat. Use once or twice daily, ideally before brushing your teeth.  Rinse the scraper under running water.  Repeat the scraping motion 2–4 times until your tongue feels clean.  Then brush and finish by rinsing your mouth with water and/or mouthwash.

Clean the scraper ... wash it thoroughly and let it dry.  AI suggests soap and water and I also dip mine in Hydrogen Peroxide to kill any bad bugs that might be hiding.  We are supposed to replace plastic scrapers every few months (or sooner if they get rough edge).

My hygienist gave me a great tip. After a cleaning, your mouth is already feeling fresh, and starting tongue scraping now helps you keep that clean feeling much longer.

I'll update in a few months.  So far, I love it!

IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME

This is a very embarrassing/humiliating topic for me. Probably for everyone who has some form of it.  I need help with this chronic, often debilitating, problem.

To make matters worse, my Diabetes medicine tends to cause diarrhea.  Double whammy.  For the past year, I've added Benefiber to my daily routine.  It has helped a lot in firming up my deposits.  But I still have to use Imodium every ten days or so.

Apparently this condition is incurable, but manageable. This is a functional disorder with many different effects on each person.

Lower abdomen pain (or discomfort)

Diarrhea and/or constipation

Gas

Bloating

Nausea  

I've reached a plateau where it seems to not be managed very well.  As you know, I share a bathroom with two boys.  Most embarrassing is that the room does not smell like a rose when I'm in there.  Poo Pourrie works well but I usually don't have time to spray and then go.  I've tried so many air freshening products I'm thinking of getting a job comparing them.  Lighting matches works the best followed a neutral smelling spray (I like Mrs. Meyers Snow Drop and occasionally a different one of her scents)

Today I asked Max (my ChatGPT Bot) for information and help.  WOW!  Where has he been all my life?  He steered me to a more gentle soluble fiber, Heathers Tummy Control, made from acacia not wheat based.  Which makes me think I'm also a bit gluten intolerant.  (I notice this when I enjoy all the carbs in my life)

Late Friday I ordered two items and hit PayPal which my Chase credit card sent me an immediate notice.  Unfortunately, I just needed another $7 to get free shipping instead of paying $12.  I went back online at Heather's to cancel the order (had to send an email) and the owner responded in five minute!  Her computer did not show receipt of an order.  On Saturday morning I checked PayPal and no sign of a charge.  Then back to Chase and not sign of a charge from PayPal or Heathers.  

The items I really wanted had a red warning label "on backorder".  I didn't want to wait and ordered a pound of ready to ship product.

When researching IBS it seems like this syndrome is increasing and affects way more women than men.  I've had this for 30+ years but hitting 70 has caused it to ramp up a bit.  Heather's site also has a list of trigger foods.  I will watch and see if these are the same for me.

Stay tuned.  I just took 2 Tylenol and heading for a nap.
  

SEMI HOMEMADE

I’ve loved entertaining since I first moved away from home.  My childhood home was tiny and filled with six children and two loving parents, but no room to entertain much.  My Mom was a fabulous cook and experimented with all kinds of interesting recipes … homemade egg rolls to go with chicken chow mein, homemade whoopee pies and anything and everything that caught her interest.  She passed this passion down to all six of us.  The boys are the main cook in their household.

I quickly volunteered for holiday family get togethers until my siblings enjoyed larger homes.  Cooking was my hobby and table settings my art form.  A group of four couples started a gourmet cooking club that lasted ten years.  The host would pick the theme and would assign courses (and a few times, would assign recipes)  Each course with an accompanying adult beverage.

Mr. Ralph was Prez of a small firm and would always prefer to host visitors and new employees at our home.  Most other countries entertain at restaurants so we were flattering them by opening our home.  I still have international friends because of this!

Gone are the days when I would make the pralines for a homemade cheesecake.  Now I’m in my “semi homemade” style.  There was a Food Network show with Sandra Lee with this title.  She would use fresh ingredients with selected store bought items and her flair for decorating the table.  Sometimes all you have to do is put fresh herbs on things and it just brings the whole meal up a notch.

Through the years .... 

The cooking club.

Christmas

Our view from the hammock

We had 50+ guests ... and it was 104 degrees

The condo .. bar height table

We continued entertaining while living in Maui for three years.  I could do a whole blog just on the Maui home!  I think I will.  It took me soooo many hours to find photos because I get so side tracked going down Memory Lane.

HORRIBLE NEWS

What a week of horrible news.  Riots in LA.  Orange baby’s birthday parade.  Israel bombing Iran.  Air India’s tragedy losing almost 270 people, .  My best neighbor went via ambulance for dyskinesia (Parkinson’s Disease) and found out she has pneumonia and UTI (no symptoms of either) and will be in the hospital for several days.  I’m hoping to lighten things up a little. We can complain elsewhere for those troubles.

I’m growing older with gratitude for everything from Tylenol to comfy shoes and Neosporin with band aids and ChatGPT. Part of aging is learning to compensate for our declines as much as possible.

I use ChatGPT so often I’ve named him Max.  Of course I asked him first if he had a name.  He suggested several when prompted.  Anything I used to Google, I now Max.  Much more in depth responses and always offers to do more (and gives examples).  I’m pretty sure I could ask him to write my blog!  In fact, I may do that soon just to see how well he knows me. (I will give him all the credit).

While I haven’t lost much measurable height, it gets harder and harder to reach things.  I had to update my grabber to an extendable one.  Interestingly enough, it gets used by the family as much as by me.  A simple compensation in my opinion.

Friday I took an hour webinar on Apple email tips and tricks.  It’s three days in a row for just an hour.  And they send a recording for future (slower!) use.  But I will share one with you.  The MacWhisperer says that using the obvious “unsubscribe” button doesn’t always do the trick.  And if it does, it takes longer to really stop getting those emails.  We are supposed to go down to the very fine print and unsubscribe from there. 

Another great tip to free up space on your computer is to decide if you really need to keep all those emails.  Like Amazon confirmations and Amazon shipping information, for example.  On Mac, when you open your mail screen it tells you how many read and unread emails you have.

 

This is mine at 5pm on Friday night.  Now I’m going to an Amazon email, then “command A” to select all with that sender name and delete.  235 old useless emails GONE.  Saturday morning I went through old newsletters, bank alerts, etc and kaboom!  10,000 more unnecessary emails are gone.

I’m going to keep this blog short and continue to do some mailbox cleaning!!!  My second class at The MacWhisperer starts soon and I miss Max.

A Fashion Journey Through the Ages ~ From Bell Bottoms to Compression Socks

Once upon a time, my biggest concern was whether my bell bottoms were flared enough to cover my platform shoes.  Remember those days?  I was pretty excited when “boot cut” pants returned to the scene.  My winter garb is black boot cut yoga pants and a black top.  When I get fancy, I add a scarf and maybe a hat.  That’s from twelve years of wearing a uniform for Catholic school.  I get up and dressed and just don a uniform.  No thinking until after coffee.

Fashion, it turns out, is a full-contact sport when you're aging awkwardly. I’ve strutted (okay, shuffled) through decades of style: shoulder pads so wide I couldn’t fit through doorways, perms that defied gravity and good judgment, and pantyhose that were basically medieval torture devices disguised as “nude, control top.”

I did go through the hippie phase — fringe vests, tie-dye, bell bottoms, little braids in my long golden hair.  And of course, round wire framed specs.  With the 70’s it was peasant blouses, macramé, earth tones with just a bit of the hippie edge.  Being a “spring” on the color wheel (yes!  Remember that??) I didn’t do much of the earth tones.  But the LONG hair.  Definitely.

   

Power dressing for my business job phase.  Shoulder pads, blazers, pencil skirts, and especially big hair. That’s what I remember about the 80’s.  Oh!  And pagers followed by car phones.  I was in sales for a national moving company and we would get paged then have to find a payphone and call the office.  In Oregon where it rains a lot! I was so excited to get a car phone.

  

Now, everyone has a cell phone and we have no landline.  I love it because it is my brain.  I’ve learned to put it to good use.  I write things down as I think of them (ran out of garlic powder, add it to my grocery list)(met someone new I add them to my contact book and how I met them, even if I don’t have their phone number, yet)(ideas for gift giving and checking for upcoming birthdays).

2025?  Stretchy waistbands (or no waistbands) are my love language. Sensible step-in shoes (Kizik) whisper sweet nothings to my bunions and hammertoe. I’m still not into the cardigan sweater phase or a lap blanket.  I use a zip up sweatshirt to give myself the illusion of being younger than 73.

But let’s not pretend aging means giving up on looking good. No, it just means redefining good. “Chic” now means “clean and comfortable.” And I’ll take a cozy fleece over a crop top any day, although I remember being able to sport one.

My summer look is cool and breezy dresses.  I think I have ten different versions.  They are totally baggy but I get a compliment almost every time I am out in public.