HEARTBROKEN

I received the worst news in the most amazingly written email this week.  I've volunteered with this person for the past five years.  We have butted heads many times yet remain friends.  They had the long lasting cough that started in Sept/Oct (and led to walking pneumonia for several of us).  They resist going to doctors even though they heard that many were getting the 5 day antibiotic regime.  I don't know when she did visit her Dr but other the past month she went to many doctors.  Here is the outcome:

Dear Friends and Family,

You’re receiving this letter because my life is more joyful as you are or have been in it and for that I’m very grateful.

Unfortunately, I have some challenging news, and although it would be best, I don’t have the capacity to speak to each of you or keep you updated.  Talking can sometimes exacerbate my cough.  So please see this email as me reaching out to you with love and gratitude and asking you not to feel sorry for me, nor call me asking questions or to get updates.  I will send updates when there is anything of significance, but other than that I simply want to continue to share joy with you as I am able and be grateful for the blessings I have. 

I’ve recently been diagnosed with lung cancer.  The prognosis without treatment is 4 – 6 months.  The good news is there is a targeted treatment for my specific type of cancer.   The  additional good news is that if all goes as scheduled I will start my treatment this Friday (yesterday).   It, the treatment, is a pill with generally less side effects than chemotherapy.  If it works it can extend my life expectancy to a year, or two, and in rare occasions it has extended life for five years.

Until I have a couple weeks on the treatment my days may be challenging and though you are special to me, the best way to communicate is by email or text and I will do my best to respond.

For those concerned about my Volunteer responsibilities, I have and will continue to work closely with (Chair) to make sure everything is covered and any training that needs to happen is taken care of.   Hopefully my follow-thru will be back to normal soon.

For those of you involved in my end-of-life plans I have already spoken to my financial advisor and written to my attorney.  I’m re-doing some of my plans to make it easier for you.  There are some advantages to having a guestimate of your end date.

All my love. 

SNOW DAYS!

Happy Belated Valentines Day.

I kept the boys company so the parents could enjoy a night away.  Granted, it was just the Guest Suite here on complex grounds.  But it was special for them.  Good thing it was walkable as we got a major snowstorm on Thursday with more falling on Friday.  The sidewalks were all cleared by neighbors, so the short walk was safe and not slippery.

It really is fun when the boys get a snow day!  And then to get TWO snow days followed by a Monday holiday, WOW.  (I was wondering if 💩 would formally cancel it ...)  We have pizza, salad and movies on Friday night and I let the parents know I didn't mind if Braeden's girlfriend came over.  The three under 21's enjoyed their meal in the living room, each person had their own tray on the giant ottoman in front of the sofa.

Do you have a Valentine Tradition?  My sister and hubby make each other a Valentine.  For 35 years!  Here's what he made her this year:

On Thursday Dad took Deacon out sledding for hours.  On Friday Mom took him out sledding.  Good exercise for all!  Deacon made a snow cone using snow.  Braeden walked 4 miles to his girlfriend's house.  I was the only slug in the house.

After pizza, Deacon went to play video games.  I let him have an hour then got out some games for 2 people. So he could interact with humans when under my care.  Every 20 minutes, one of us had a reason to check on the lovebirds.  I had bought treats before the storm so I could offer soft drinks once, cookies once, red licorice, etc., let them know they could buy or rent a movie for the two of them, etc.  

Deacon came into my room and chose a movie for the two of us.  The Green Book.  WoW.  A true story based on a Black pianist (holder of two PhDs) and his white, lower class driver and bodyguard.  We got through half and will finish it today.  He would stop the movie every 15 minutes to ask a deep question.  A wonderful experience for this Gramma.  (He was my spy buddy so I could send also him to check on the others).

Girlfriend left at 11pm and I let the boys stay up til midnight but they both went to sleep before then.  When I was sure they were down, this Gramma lay her head on her pillow!  And had a great night's sleep.

I'm thinking of creating a political meme every week. 

 Good therapy for me!

MAUI MEMORIES

Just tripping down memory lane.  Yesterday was Mr. Ralph's 91st birthday.  Our celebrations are small but memorable.  After our typical Friday night pizza, salad and movie ... the family had Haagen Daaz vanilla ice cream with Hershey's chocolate sauce.  With candles.  We shared a few little memories together and I spent most of my day walking down memory lane.  Just the fun and happy memories.

We were lucky enough to vacation every year in Maui.  Before Kate started school, we would go at the end of January so he could begin his new year in the ocean!  Every year at 8:00 am or 9:00 am, off he went for a swim.

His 75th birthday

Another Maui tradition is to have a photo taken in Lahaina with colorful parrots.  Kate carries on this tradition with her boys (hope they can afford to go again someday!)

Every year, he would want to look at homes or condos to buy.  One year, the price was right and we bought one!  His dream come true.  It was the BEST 950 sq ft house for two people and visitors.  Two bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a two car garage.

He loved puttering outdoors and Maui is 24/7 365 days a year.  Heaven for sure!  He (and a carpenter) turned our little 6 foot concrete back patio from this 

He put up little tiny white lights on the edges of the patio cover.  Best entertaining location ever.

Best Maui friends

Despite excruciating pain from bone cancer, he did not want to return to Oregon (we have Death with Dignity happily voted in).  Nope.  He did not want to die in the rain.  His last week was in a hospital bed in the dining room looking out on his fabulous deck.